OK, OK, OK… we know. We’ve been busy, and in turn, we’ve been neglecting you all for way too long. We’ve gotten a bunch of complaints. We’ve gotten weird phones calls in the middle of the night with stalker-esque, heaving breathing on the other end. Well that wasn’t so bad, but they never called us back the next day when we asked them to. They even spray painted our dog purple. The bastards!
Well they let us out of the basement, and now we’re ready to get back on track. Keep you’re eyes open for new stories and videos, and maybe we can get this ball rolling again.
Ever wonder why your high school football teammate wont stop talking about the TV show So You Think You Can Dance? Maybe your old sorority sister wanted to “experiment” with you, but you weren’t sure why. Perhaps your brother’s favorite singer is Barbra Streisand? These situations might be confusing to some people. But not to worry, we’re here to clear up the confusion with a simple explanation. It might be that they’re gay. That’s right, gay. We know, you’re probably asking yourself, “self, how can I tell if that person is really gay?” Well, there are two approaches. The first involves a obtaining a sophisticated piece of equipment called Gaydar, of which there are only two known devices in existence (the US Army is said to possess one). The device is also extremely expensive due to the rarity of the main component, one of J. Edgar Hoover’s testicles, and can not be purchased by anyone with less then a trillion dollars in the bank. The second approach, and the more effective of the two, is a little thing we like to call “The NukeYourBrain.Com Primer To Effectively Determining Sexual Preference In a Sexually Apathetic World”, or the NYB.CPTEDSPIASAW (pronounced Nib-Kipt-Eds-Pia-Saw).
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So, we occasionally find content that we just can’t explain. We try to be witty, we really do, but sometimes we just have no words for the things we find.
WTF is this? We assume it’s a woman due to the lipstick that matches her… we mean his… we mean it’s hair. It could be a man, too. We’re not sure. But we are sure of the fact that this is one of the strangest pictures we’ve ever found. Nuff said.
Why are people completely senseless when it comes to using a computer? Now, we’re not talking about the elderly. We all know they’re not good at anything… well, except for driving slow and smelling funny. But kids, teens and young to middle aged adults should all know how to use one.
This is a shot of the sports ticker in the new Dallas Cowboys stadium. Either the IT guy is a moron or Microsoft is advertising for Windows 8. We’re not sure. But if people who don’t know how to shut down a computer properly can land a job in a major NFL stadium, we want to know when we’ll be the head of IT for the NSA mainframe. We’ll be waiting for our first paycheck.
It’s a shame really. With all the money that goes into TV advertising in the US, you would think that we would at least have some decent commercials. Instead we have crappy infomercials with some cracked out, hooker beating moron trying sell us a sham wow. Or a slap chop. Or something else that we don’t need, but we still feel the urge to buy anyway.
Foreign commercials rock. Take this ad for instance. It’s a wholesome looking foreign family with an affection for US pop music. Too bad they don’t understand a damn thing the person is singing. SPOILER ALERT & WARNING: Moms… there’s some, um, interesting lyrics to be heard in this video.
Yes, she’s weird. Yes, she’s crazy. Yes, she confuses the crap out of us with her stage antics. One thing is for sure though, she’s making a hell of a lot of money. But Lady Gaga hasn’t always been the pop idol she’s portrayed herself to be. In fact there was a time, not so long ago, when she wasn’t hiding her poker faced image with a giant feathered frock and rainbow colored leotard. Yep, it’s true. In fact, thanks to this video, we get a look at a younger Miss Gaga when she used to do open mic nights with her crappy college band.
We think the world has enough Janeane Garofalo loving, Melissa Ethridge sounding wannabes. Good choice selling out and going teeny bop.
