14.Sep.2009 Police your damn children. Prime examples of bad parenting, part one.
Think you’re the only person who hates uncontrolled kids? Well, we do too. Damn grubby, snot-nosed little kids these days have no respect for anything. They always seem to be mouthing off and crying about wanting this or needing that. They’re always saying, “I want to take a shower, mommy!” or “I haven’t eaten this week, can I have some bread please?” It’s so annoying. They don’t do anything you ask them to do, either. You tell them to run to the store to pick you up a pack of rubbers and a forty oz and they say stuff like, “but daddy, I’m only eight years old.” Well we’ve had it up to here with all this hubbub. We’ve come up with a plan to change all this starting right now.
We’re going to blame the parents. It’s only fair. By targeting the source of the problem, maybe we can help to change the future of child discipline. To see what we mean, check out the examples below.
This one is a no brainer… those other girls were obviously never taught about the simple principles of airing your junk out. Proper daily junk ventilation results in less noticeable crotchal (that’s right, crotchal) odors. Shame on their parents for not teaching them proper hygiene.
This girl needed to learn how to use prophylactics from a bus stop billboard advertisement. Absurd! Proper sex education starts at home. Her parents should have given her a tube of KY, a Ron Jeremy flick, and an old gym sock like our parents did years ago. With the exception of that episode of the clap back in ’87, we’ve been clean ever since. Thanks mom and dad!
The one thing that drives us nuts about kids is their general disregard for proper etiquette while in public places. Parents let kids run all over the place doing whatever they want, wherever they want. They don’t teach children that public places are public, and not their own personal playground. Usually, if left undisciplined, kids grow up to follow the same patterns of behavior. This picture is a clear example of what we mean. What gives anyone the right to stop in the middle of an obviously beautiful public park and start waiving around an obnoxious ten foot tall sign. Honestly people, this is outrageous. If we were that couple, we would have tracked down his parents, if they were still alive, and punched each one of them in their baby makers for not teaching their son better. Remember people, the word public is one letter different from the word pubic, and that letter is L… for love (we like to think this makes sense to someone out there).
We know you might be a little outraged by the things you saw here. We were too. In fact, we pledge to you we will track down more of this madness and expose it for what it really is. Parents, remember that if your kid is acting the fool we’ll smack ‘em upside their head if you don’t. Now, go police your damn children.
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