“No John, it looks totally straight. Lets go chug some more brewskies before the boss gets back.”
We wish more people were like the this person. They decided when they woke up that today was a good day to get plastered at work. Subsequently, it was also a good day to lose their cushy government job with the department of transportation. What a retard.
Which reminds us… we would also like propose the alternate title : “Why equal opportunity employment isn’t always a good idea.” Seriously… sometimes it’s just plain stupid.
Ok so here’s a news article from some news paper or something (we’re too lazy to track it down) where this Hooters waitress gets tricked so good. Honestly, we can’t decide what the funniest part about this story is. It’s either that this chick was stupid enough to think that being the top performer in a beer selling contest would win her a new Toyota, or the fact that this less than appealing b-cup Femi-Nazi looking chick works at a Hooters in Panama City, Florida. For those of you who don’t know about Panama City, it was the first site for MTV’s spring break event and a annual mecca for spring break goers worldwide. Either Hooters has lowered it’s “standards”, or we have raised ours.
Honestly though lady, the toy Yoda is pretty dope. Now cheer up beer wench, and bring me my damn hot wings.
So there’s a lot of information piracy on the internet these days. Torrents, warez sites, P2P networks… where does it all end? Well not here, folks. We have a little trick we’d like to share with you to save you some cash online.
Want that game download, but don’t want to fork out the dinero for it? Want to get that EBook on how to make six figures a month without opening your wallet? Don’t worry. We got your back in the first weekly installment of “I Want My Stuff For Free!”
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Alright, here’s the catch. This little trick doesn’t work on more expensive cars that use thicker sheet metal… so you ballers with dented up benzos or beamers are out of luck. It obviously won’t work on plastic or fiberglass bodies either… sorry Saturn owners, that’s twice you’ve gotten screwed now by owning a Saturn. But for the 90% of us who aren’t rich, or aren’t stupid… this trick is for you.
PS… don’t blame us if you mess something up. We can’t be held liable for your jalopy becoming even more jalopy-esque.
We don’t even know what to say to this, except holy jeebus. The info on YouTube said it took 1,500 hours to make this 4 minute video, which sparked our curiosity. If you followed the same time ratio, that would mean the following:
It would take 8250 hours, or 344 days, to make a 22 minute video… the average length of a TV show.
It would take 33750 hours, or 1407 days, to make a 90 minute video… the average length of a cinematic production.
The entire Star Wars saga, which is 14 hours in length, would take 315,000 hours, or 13,125 days, to produce.
We’re keeping our fingers crossed for a full length Tim Burton LEGO film… but we won’t hold our breath.
Not when you get your daughter her very own Pole Dance Doll. The box advertises “Style, Interesting, Music, Flash, Up and Down, and Go Round and Round”, and we love it.
In these dwindling economic times, you can provide your little girl with the skills to pay the bills. I mean honestly, are you going to pay for her college tuition when she can pay for it herself with a small investment in some glitter body lotion and a g-string? We think not.
We give it a 5 out of 5 on the aluminum ghetto gift rating system.
